The Day the Fandom Died.

Friends of mine have been inquiring as to when and how many times I'll be screening Star Wars VII when it debuts this December in multiplexes across the world. None have actually asked if I actually wanted to see it, essentially assuming I was going to, except one person and that came about due to my hesitation on giving an answer. That answer is no, I don't want to see Episode VII: The Force Awakens. 

Frankly nothing up to this point has stoked my fires and has worked me up into the required fan frenzy needed to throw money and time at the object of said fandom. The trailers have mostly left me cold and that isn't a good sign. And after the "Force Friday" merchandise nonsense ended I have a great opportunity to check out the goods as that might clue in more about the film which might pique my interests.

When I stopped by my local Target to do some basic needs shopping and decided to walk past the toys and seasonal garbage section to check out the Star Wars goods. I spent close to thirty minutes going up and down the aisles, checking out every bit of product, and then I reached a point where I was standing in front of the LEGO displays for J.J.'s space opera odyssey where I said something out loud that took me by surprise.

"....I don't want any of this." 

It wasn't spoken in a loud or condescending manner but one of quiet disappointment. If you saw my face when I spoke those words it may have looked like I lost my best friend; a defining part of who I was that up and left. This was the realization of something coming for a long time: I don't need Star Wars any longer. 

I have my memories of the original films and those have had a lovely rose colored gloss that has lasted for years yet as I have aged and become more critical of the media I consume as well as how I spend my time I become thankful that I watched Lucas' original films as a child because if I went in today I'm certain I wouldn't have devoted so much energy to this brand.  And this isn't anything sudden because when I look back and really think about it all of the signs were present in the Kubler-Ross model for coming to terms with an emotional experience. 

Denial appears early and for me that came about during the prequel films which released back in the late 1990's/early 2000's. This was especially true with The Phantom Menace. I kept denying how terrible the movie really was, denying the possiblity that the other films to follow would be equally as bad because George was just getting his movie making legs back with this one so it could be a dog in the manger, and outright denying that I was no longer the target audience for this series; I will return to that later.

Anger manifested a few months after Phantom Menace left the theaters as I had time to digest just what I watched and realized just how bad it was. Not only that but while being caught up in the fandom I went multiple times, gleefully I might add, while also spending my hard earned money on the relevant merchandise on something that I actually hated. I felt bamboozled and, more importantly, wasted my time with this which really made me angry. I also was angry when it was even more painfully obvious that this was and will always be a kids film and the brand didn't mature with its original audiences. I was angry that I didn't get something more developed and evolved but was given 2+ hours of Jar Jar and Jake Lloyd delivering such Shakespearean lines like "Woo-hooo!". 

Bargaining hit right around the release of Attack of the Clones with the "if/then" deals I made with myself to justify keeping up with brand such as "If the movie gets ok reviews then I'll check it out a few weeks after release" and "If the movie is ok then I'll consider checking out the toy lines, etc." It wasn't good and I didn't follow through with the second statement. Anger and denial reared back up as well during this phase too. Bargaining also creeped in regarding making silent deals internally as to what merchandise I would consume from the brand to keep up so to speak. My fanboy "drug" of choice was Star Wars branded LEGO model kits; eventually I realized I just enjoyed putting together LEGO and I didn't need the Star Wars branded ones for that amusement.

Depression crept in post prequel trilogy and well before Disney got its white gloved talons into it. Lucas was doing jack shit with his brand except re-release after re-release of the films in various formats, games that were on the horizon were promoted then cancelled, and nothing new was coming out except TV shows such as The Clone Wars but that was aimed again at 1) children and 2) it was set during that prequel era which was horrible. My object of fandom was falling by the wayside in a very slow, methodical march; I was feeling left out of the thing that I adored. I was no longer feeling included for wanting more out of this brand and it really bummed me out that others my age could still find that same bliss which has now escaped me. Anger creeps in here to as I began to resent others for their fandom which is an interesting concept; I was pissed off and jealous that I didn't have another's level of obsession. 

Finally Acceptance happened in that toy aisle in Target where I admitted that I didn't want Star Wars any more.  More specifically I admitted that I wasn't a child any longer and this brand didn't grow as I did which then lost its value to me and my resources (time, money, etc). I have to say just because I reached this stage does not mean I'm content. In all honesty anger emerged again because of this revelation yet I will move forward and leave this in my past. Interestingly these stages do not fall in a strict pattern and will bounce around depending on the level of the emotional investment towards the object in question. In a bizarre twist when I look back at this process it feels like it is part of a maturation ritual for the mass produced age. There is a journey involved where on an emotional level I am questing towards adulthood and in the process I must kill my childhood to move forward. The destruction of my fandom of a product that is for children is just another step on the path I am on which has taken years.

So while I am fine with not watching the film it didn't stop me from acting cheeky and doling out faux spoilers to the movie such as "BB-8 is a DROID!" or "The movie is 2hrs and 15min long!!!" just so I can play around with those on social media I'm friends/friendly with. The most I may ever do involving Star Wars would be playing the table top RPG that a friend of mine runs periodically as it fills that child-less yearning I craved that the main content maker, Disney, will not fully venture into. Past that Star Wars becomes that part of me from a long time ago and that is where it needs to belong.

Side note: when thinking about writing this I went poking around and found an article from 2011 via Slate.com which gives a humorous look at this process that was similar to mine minus watching 150 episodes of Pokemon.

Another side note: Back in 2012 I wrote a post about changes Lucas made regarding Star Wars and I was horribly wrong about it but totally fanboyish.

Damn you Star Wars: The Old Republic!

So I gave into the dark side and took an actual stab at playing TOR. My first experience with it wasn't very fun as I tried out being a Jedi Knight and realized that for light saber combat I need a control pad instead of a mouse and keyboard.


After talking to a few more folk about my disdain for melee in an MMORPG they all suggested I play some kind of ranged character. So I created a Republic Trooper as a last ditch effort to try to enjoy this game before I totally immerse myself back into the console gaming world. I wasn't expecting much and instead found I prefer ranged combat much more than I should and found myself starting to get seriously sucked into the game. Currently my Trooper is on Coruscant, took the Commando advanced class and has his first companion.


And this is just my single player character. I also created a Bounty Hunter so I can play with one of my friends as Imperials. We're both currently on the planet Hutta, both level 8 and both having a lot of fun. We had such a fun marathon session for our first session that I had to remind him that he had work in the morning and he needed to go the F to sleep already. I'm going to try to get back online with him tonight as well so the continuing story of the completely mercenary bounty hunter and the suave James Bond-esque Imperial Agent can get the hell off Hutta and get out into the galaxy.



 And naturally more friends have TOR too and want to play with me or my wife. So if you're one of them and want to start up a game just let me know. I'd be happy to play with you as long as I don't have to be a melee character.

An open letter to George Lucas....

Dear George,


Do you remember this recent interview where you were trying to justify the new recut versions inclusion of 'Greedo shooting first and why it isn't a big deal'? No? Well tell you what why don't you  READ THIS FIRST then come back.

Done? Good.


To elaborate as to why it matters is that you decided to change and alter something that was already established within our culture just so you can keep making money out of it. This is one of the reasons why I cannot and will not ever see the Star Wars films in 3D and that pains me to say it because I love the franchise so dearly.


The other point is that you've stripped away one of the best things about Han Solo. He was a smuggler, a criminal who was only out for his money to pay off Jabba. He didn't care about the Rebel Alliance or The Empire, he cared about money. He was a shoot first type of guy and over the course of the three films he redeems himself and BECOMES A HERO! These movies are not just about the Skywalker family dysfunction, this was also the "hero's journey' for Han Solo! Han didn't have to come back to help SAVE Luke's ass in the Death Star trench from Vader. No he could have taken his million space bucks and paid off Jabba and not gave a shit. But he was changing. He was starting to think of just more than himself and his ship. He didn't have to ride around on Tauntaun in the ice fields of Hoth searching for his friend when he could have been banging Leia back at the base...but he did. He was growing as a character.


We met Han Solo in the Mos Eisley cantina..."a wretched hive of scum and villainy". Hero's don't hang out where the villains do looking for work. Han was selfish and greedy at first and by the end of Return of the Jedi was selfless, a general in the Rebellion and had friends and a woman who loved his ass so much she disguised herself as a bounty hunter to track down where Boba Fett turned his carbonite ass over to Jabba. She risked her own life for him. Heros as a general rule don't try to save villains. Han was a redeemed hero by then. A good guy. One of the best.

And you've been slowly chipping away at that part of the story. Han's redemption. It was one of the best parts of those movies and you are trying to remove that. And by claiming you always intended Greedo and Han to shoot at each other but didn't film it that way just makes me sad. You are trying to rewrite history again. And again it is not for the better. You have wondered why you should keep making movies when your fans keep telling you that you are a horrible person, an evil bastard that is looking for money? Well reread that interview then take a good look in the mirror and you will have your answer.

To paraphrase from another geek love rant about this: when you create something of this scale that gets out into the world, like Star Wars, and it effects the culture of human beings spreading so rapidly it's like a virus and we love it unconditionally.....and then you start changing it for your benefit and wonder why we are mad? It's simple because while you may own the liscence you lost the rights to the stories. They belong to all of us now and we don't like you fucking with them any more.

We do love you George for all you've given us. Truly we love all of your creations but please stop altering them. Even Spielberg admitted it was wrong to alter E.T.

 Learn from that.

Your fan,

Phil