Wednesday, March 28, 2012

TOON: The Wicker Pig

It actually happened. It made me feel all sorts of dirty after running it too. But I liked it... So what went down? Did it follow my plot notes exactly? Did it derail practically right from the start? Were there sexual innuendos flying liberally about the table? Let me go over the cast list and their players and then I'll recap as best as humanly possible.

The Players

Bob - Dr. Thaddeus Venture (The Venture Bros.)
Eric - Prince Adam of Eternia (He-Man)
Larry - Eric Cartman as "The Coon" (South Park)
Chad - Norville "Shaggy" Rogers (Scooby Doo)
Jess - Wonder Woman (Justice League)
Melissa - Danger Mouse (Danger Mouse)
Gavin - Perry the Platypus (Eric's son & 1st time tabletop RPG player)(Phineas & Ferb)

So the basic premise of this hodgepodge was detailed in an earlier post. I will say that my notes & plot damn near derailed at the start before the Guild got out of their base to confront the honey ham providers. I suppose derail is too strong of a word as players just having fun is never a real derailing of a game. Besides its TOON the "herding cats" of tabletop RPGs.

So it starts out with Dr Venture trying to 'mack on' Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman kicks his ass in response. Prince Adam is apparently a gay icon of unbefore seen proportions as dancing and prancing are key to his personality. General silliness ensues for damn near twenty minutes before Gavin wants to move forward and do something. So Perry the Platypus helps to move the "plot" along.....the character that doesn't speak spoke up in his own way and got this moving along. I also want to note that this was Gavin's very first tabletop RPG ever and he did great. It was a pleasure having him at the table.

More insanity ensues with most of the players making it to the island while Dr Venture, Shaggy and The Coon make a detour to the Jersey Shore for food (Shaggy) and to pick up chicks (Dr Venture). Neither works out too well....actually Shaggy got food. Dr Venture got fake numbers and was blown off by the locals. Shaggy & The Coon do discover that all the ham shipments have stopped completely causing a ham shortage. Eventually they join the others on the island just in time for the annual "Party Rock Ham Slam" festival.

Craziness ensues. Prince Adam goes dancing with the locals, Dr Venture goes to the office to get a refund and gets declined by Fozzy Bear.....who he then promptly kills (by accident...he thought it was a bear mask.....nope. Pulled his head off instead). Dr Venture then hollows out the stuffing and puts on his Fozzy Bear suit and is promptly beaten up by Wonder Woman again when he tries to touch her with his bear hands.....zing!

Meanwhile Perry the Platypus goes to the large beehive on the island (next to the giant wicker made piggy bank) to do some exploring. In a very Agent P mode he sneaks in and when spotted removes his hat becoming a platypus....which throws off the guards cause it isn't Perry the Platypus! Finding the computer room inside Perry goes to hack in to see what is up on the island when Dr. Doofenshmirtz arrives (dressed in a bee suit) to monologue....and Perry beats him down! Perry then hacks the computer and has Major Monogram's assistant, Carl, transmit the evil plans to the rest of the Guild. The Wicker Pig is actually a ham powered battle mech to be used for a global takeover. It's only weakness is a magical food that can destroy it. Alarms sound and Perry beats flipper out of there.

Meanwhile, the other Guildies don't ingratiate themselves to the ruler of the island, Miss Piggy (who is in a bee costume too). Well except Prince Adam who is now in a bee costume too...
Hijinks ensue, the party runs back to their vehicles so they can escape. Dr Venture tells Brock Samson, his bodyguard, to get out of here when Brock notices Wonder Woman. Brock then proceeds to show up Rusty by hitting on Diana and she gives him her room key in return.

Eventually they get a notice that they need to meet with Bill Shatner to discover the location of this magical food, The Pizza Boomerang, and get info about the guardian of it. More stupidity ensues. Eventually they get to Valhalla (which looks like its made from pizza) and when they start exploring the boomerang comes speeding at them. They all make zip checks to dodge but Dr Venture fails horribly and gets his Wiener cut off. HELPER tries to reattach it with a nail gun only to put it on upside down. The Guardian challenges the Guild to a test of strength and Rusty calls out Brock to deal with him. After a back and forth battle Brock, shirtless covered in blood and holding his knife with that intense crazed look in his eye, grabs Princess Diana and begins to "fight her without using his hands" behind some large rocks. She happily fights him back....much to Rusty's dismay.

I want to stress that to keep it seemingly PG for Gavin we were really pulling out all the stops to use as much enuenndo as possible so we adults got the joke but the tyke can enjoy beating the baddies up as Perry.

Well the rest get the Pizza Boomerang, gain new powers, and confront the Wicker Pig now rampaging through Manhattan. It was Danger Mouse who scored the knockout on the pig by throwing the Pizza Boomerang right into its "exhaust port" causing it to explode. Success!

Now there was more lunacy going on here but I will have a hard time detailing all of it as it happens so damn fast. Things such as: Shaggy morphing into Hunter S Thompson then into Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Cartman summoning Cthulhu, Prince Adam actually being Ash from Army of Darkness until a plot card changed him into Ash Ketchem from Pokemon, the neutered muppet male pigs in bee suits....there was more but I must be blocking it out or something.

And what was played missed out on a few things I had planned due to player craziness and general enjoyment. Such as they were going to have a world tour to find the 5 lions to form Voltron to fight the Pizza Boomerang guardian. I was going to have Michael Bay blow up New Jersey. I was going to have them save Kermit the Frog from the Wicker Pig but it never manifested. This happens because, for me, TOON is more of a reaction to the players crazy decisions than following a strict plot. If I can get a few key points to happen and people enjoy doing it then it's a win in my book, enjoyment all around the table is the most important thing here.

Next time I run a TOON game for this group I will have them suggest characters they want to play and that they are familiar with. I suppose my knowledge of cartoon characters is bigger and some of my available PC's were met with a "who's this?". But everyone tried, everyone played and everyone laughed a lot. It was a pleasure running this for them and I do hope they enjoyed this insanity as much as I enjoyed performing it for them.