Monday, April 16, 2012

Remakes: A Cautionary Tale

While writing my post about Kickstarters for old PC games and The Two Guys from Andromeda, I started out with a little vitriol for Michael Bay.


Now while I am not a Bay fanatic at all there have been occasions that I like watching a Bay-stravaganza. I enjoyed 'Bad Boys' as it was fun watching Will Smith and Martin Lawrence pretending to be cops. I also liked 'The Rock' as well. Sean Connery was fun in that movie but for me the real draw of that film was

Stop judging me!

Anyways with the Transformers debacle and the impending 'Ninja Turtles' shart on my childhood I started thinking about what I would and would not like to see remade.....EVER.

This summer we get Total Recall back in theaters. A remake that is closer to the source materials than the original Paul Verhoeven flick from 1990. But is this really needed? Was there some public outcry for a more true to form movie based off of Philip K. Dick's story 'We Can Remember It For You Wholesale'? No? Really?? Then why was it remade? Boredom? Money grab? I can't say.  But I will say that while the remake looks like a better film I doubt it will be as entertaining to me.


Get your ass to Mars!



No Mars here.

"I'm a fucking actor!"

It's nothing against Colin Farrell or director Len Wiseman but I just don't think I will be as entertained as I was watching the Arnold spewing one liners, bad prosthetic make up, three breasted mutant woman Johnny Cab destroying version. Even after all this time I still enjoy watching the original Total Recall and still grin like an idiot while viewing it.

Speaking of Colin Farrell I thoroughly enjoyed him as Jerry the Vampire in the 'Fright Night' remake from last year. It was an older cheesy movie that I thought would be a good choice for an update and I really enjoyed it. My blogging compatriot Jugular Josh at "where-there-had-been-darkness" didn't care for it but he's wrong. ** It just was a good example for me of a fun remake of an older property.

I also felt 'The A-Team' was a completely brainless action fest and felt right at home with its source material...a completely brainless action show from the '80's. I would also like to note I would kill for a remake of one of my favorite movies from the '80's and I feel it would be a perfect fit for a relaunch with today's technology.

THIS would be glorious. With how advanced video games have become it is no longer a far fetched idea that they could be training simulators of some kind. Get on this already Hollywood!

However the following are films that I NEVER want to be remade. These are works of art and for my money still hold up as well as they day they released. KEEP OUT HOLLYWOOD!

These are just a few movies that are powerful example of excellence in film. It is a disservice to the film, the cast, crew and all involved if these properties are touched and remade for a new generation. Instead of remaking them I have a suggestion. Why not release them back into theaters again? Get the younger generations interested in seeing them in their original format. While I think it may be too late for some of the current tweens/twenty somethings as they are lost to the fast paced world of not having to think and Googling everything (and believing the first link that shows up without question) we can get the kids coming up after them aware and interested.

And it isn't as difficult as it sounds. Its actually quite easy and I'll give an example. One of my fondest memories as a child was on sunday morning my father and I would watch classic comedies on tv such as The Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy, The Marx Bros., etc. I was exposed to those things at an early age. So seeing something that was 'old' wasn't repellent to me but just normal. I grew up appreciating the classics whether it was movies, tv, music or literature. And that's all that you have to do; show the young-uns that this stuff is worth keeping 'as is' and its not always better when its remade. Because when we let that go we end up with



Instead of THIS...


*** Jugular Josh isn't wrong about his opinion. I'm just messing with him. Go read his blog.