Thursday, October 27, 2011

Abra-Cadbra! My job went POOF!

Yeah, that happened yesterday. Due to some restructuring of the customer service field within the company my position was eliminated as of Oct. 27th. Yay! I mean boo!

Its not like my wife and I weren't looking to purchase our first house which we've been saving money towards. Or looking to start a family and begin creating more little gaming geeks. No nothing like that.

In all seriousness it totally blows but there's not a lot I can do except get cracking and find something better so our plans aren't on hold for a long time. This is just a hiccup in the grand scheme of things. And one I'll overcome and come out better in the end. But I have to ask myself what do I want to do now that I'm freshly unemployed? What are the positives of not having a job? I've come up with a list of positives.

The Positives List

1) I can grow my beard back.

And that's all I can come up with for that. But what new occupation do I want to pursue? I'm at a crossroads, in a sense, so where do I want to go from here? What would be some of the careers I'd like to pursue?
Enter yet another list!

The New Occupation for Phil List

1) Man-Whore. This is self explanatory. However I may have to share a cut of my profits to my wife.

2) Reverse Exotic Dancer. Now I know what you're thinking....but hear me out. I start the routine naked and will put more clothes as I get money. I figure I could make a killing. For those who know what I look like just the thought of my shirt unbuttoned is nauseating so the full monty would make the audience look like the pie eating scene from 'Stand By Me'.

3) Illustrator. Yeah, I can draw a bit. I might be a tad bit rusty but I'd probably take commissions if asked.

4) Stand-Up Comic. Apparently I have a knack for self deprecating humor and decent timing. Hell half the routine would be just how I look. From there I could go into a variety of topics such as being fat, losing my hair, sexual inadequacy, and the list goes on from there! Public humiliation for money ahoy!

5) Professional Ghostbuster. And why the hell not? Have you seen 'Ghost Adventures' on Travel Channel?!? Dear lord its atrocious! The wife and I watch it for a laugh and generally can't stand the host (we think Aaron Goodwin is the bomb though). I can provoke. I can look shocked that the air got cold. I can stay up all night in the dark. I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

I also have my own PKE Meter.

And I also have my own trap too.

No job is too big! No fee is too big!!

6) Gaming Critic. I could keep practicing my writing and reviewing skills and apply at various gaming sites & blogs to see if I can get some reviews/criticisms posted/published. I enjoy gaming. I enjoy complaining. Its almost a match made in heaven.

7) Go to a trade school and get trained in something! Its vague but its probably the most responsible thing to do is to get skilled in a trade or craft. Maybe culinary arts? Pharmacy tech (I like medicine)? Computer training? Schooling may not be as glamorous as some of my other options but what the hell?

8) High Class Man-Whore. Its like number 1 but I wear a tie.

So that's some of the things I'm thinking about. Basically I'll do what I have to so Jess and I aren't totally screwed and we can get back to a sense of normalcy in our household. I don't want to keep our plans on hold forever cause that's just not a good way to live.

And if you have any other suggestions feel free to comment. It can't possibly be worse than what I've thought of.